This is how you perform a trans-orbital lobotomy. You never know when this might come in handy so pay attention.

Step 1

The patient is made unconscious by administering electroshock to the head. Older patients should only take a single shock while younger patients may require numerous ones.

Step 2

After the patient is unconscious you must hurry since they will come out of it within a few minutes. Place a towel over the patients nose and mouth. Then pull the eyelids open as far as you can. Take an ice pick and force it into the eye socket right above the eyeball. Keep pushing till it enters the frontal lobe. 7cm in should be far enough.

Step 3

Now wiggle the ice pick around until the frontal lobe is disconnected from the thalamus. Repeat process on the other eye. Your patient will end up with two very severe black eyes so you may want to supply them with some dark glasses for them to hide the discoloration.

Get more info about lobotomies here.